Defining Friendship, Resolving Conflict

Nearly everyone here has differing attitudes on friendship and sex in Second Life. There are as many approaches as there are people, and the boundaries can be fluid. The way one approaches these things defines the handling of friendships, relationships and intimacy. And the scale of definition is an infinite continuum, paving the way for mis-matching styles between Second Life residents.

Some people come here to explore virtual relationships. Some come to have pure sex, with no attachments. Some try to find a balance. Some have no interest in sex. Many will also move along the scale, making adjustments to their approach to find a more comfortable style.

I was recently introduced to the term "special friend" here in Second Life. Probably, most are already familiar... but I have never been one for defining myself or others so clearly, here. The first I heard of it was in recent weeks.

I've always used the term loosely. You know... you may have 75 people on your friends list, but 65 or more may be "casual" friends, who you don't interact with as much as the other 10 or so. Those 10, I've defined as "special friends", meaning, people I like to spend time with. They aren't necessarily lovers... just closer friends than the rest. It seems that some people have a very different definition of the term. I've become mindful of that, lately. Of course, the terminology and definitions can't cover the range of human emotion... that's why I've personally never bothered to define them.

So, why do I bring this up? Why is it important enough for me to write a long and rambling blog entry? I got caught in a mis-match of playing styles with a friend. The mis-match created conflict, and a lack of good communication on both parts caused that conflict to grow and fester for far too long. Our friendship was nearly killed by an inability to coordinate our expectations.

I almost let a friendship die because of a miscommunication.

Define yourself.