Good Friends

Okay... so this is actually a meeting to discuss plans for Halloween. Talking about autumn holidays requires us to take action to stay warm.... right?

Alysa, Lisa and I sit together on the couch in the Blacklist bar to talk about events for the holiday... DJ's, contests, scavenger hunts, etc. We've been busy decorating for the festivities... now it's time to start planning in earnest.

I wish my real life meetings were so casual and cozy...

One of Those Days...

Ever have one of those days?

:D

Defining Friendship, Resolving Conflict

Nearly everyone here has differing attitudes on friendship and sex in Second Life. There are as many approaches as there are people, and the boundaries can be fluid. The way one approaches these things defines the handling of friendships, relationships and intimacy. And the scale of definition is an infinite continuum, paving the way for mis-matching styles between Second Life residents.

Some people come here to explore virtual relationships. Some come to have pure sex, with no attachments. Some try to find a balance. Some have no interest in sex. Many will also move along the scale, making adjustments to their approach to find a more comfortable style.

I was recently introduced to the term "special friend" here in Second Life. Probably, most are already familiar... but I have never been one for defining myself or others so clearly, here. The first I heard of it was in recent weeks.

I've always used the term loosely. You know... you may have 75 people on your friends list, but 65 or more may be "casual" friends, who you don't interact with as much as the other 10 or so. Those 10, I've defined as "special friends", meaning, people I like to spend time with. They aren't necessarily lovers... just closer friends than the rest. It seems that some people have a very different definition of the term. I've become mindful of that, lately. Of course, the terminology and definitions can't cover the range of human emotion... that's why I've personally never bothered to define them.

So, why do I bring this up? Why is it important enough for me to write a long and rambling blog entry? I got caught in a mis-match of playing styles with a friend. The mis-match created conflict, and a lack of good communication on both parts caused that conflict to grow and fester for far too long. Our friendship was nearly killed by an inability to coordinate our expectations.

I almost let a friendship die because of a miscommunication.

Define yourself.

Disturbing Reflections

I had an odd night, last night.

I have many friends in Second Life. I have Blacklist. I have things I could do...

But last night, I was bored. I was feeling sorry for myself, and stressing about feeling sorry for myself. Six months ago, I'd have turned off the computer and done something else. Instead, I stayed online, sat by my virtual self, and pondered things that should be left unpondered in this virtual world. Then I went places I really didn't want to go, looking for things I didn't want to have or do, before returning to the railroad bridge in Shaitan, sitting alone, pondering again.

What is the point of a game that causes stress and angst? And why can't I recognize this coming, before it's too late?

Alysa counseled me, early in the evening, giving me much to think about. And Lisa knocked some more sense in my head, shortly before I logged off.

It's time to reflect.

I'll be back. Soon.

Awesome Friends, Part 2

Here continues my series of posts on friends in Second Life.

I've had to wait to post about Hyang. I honestly didn't know what to write. And, I still don't. She's private and mysterious, moody and playful. Sometimes she's incredibly sexy, sometimes... not so much. She's tall, short, thin, fat, stacked or flat, human, neko, drow, dragon, rabbit, hedgehog or fuzzball... If it weren't for her tag, she could walk up to you, and you would have no idea who she is. And really, I've known her for over six months, and I still don't know who she is... ;)

With Hyang, you begin to expect the unexpected, but even so, she still manages to surprise you. That's what makes it fun to be around her. Hyang is one of the interesting people in Second Life that people gravitate to. She's one of the things in Second Life that keeps me coming back. I'm happy to count her among my friends.

Changes

If you recall, some of my earliest postings in this blog were about my treehouse. I was proud of the accomplishment, it having been the largest and most complicated thing I had built.

The treehouse is gone. The sim I lived in was auctioned, so I had to leave. I can't resurrect the tree on the Blacklist land... at least, not without taking back many of my donated prims. So, for now, the pieces of the tree reside in my inventory. Waiting.

So, I built a skybox in Blacklist. Blacklist has really been my home, anyway. And I could build a nice skybox with about 200 fewer prims than a resurrection of the tree would take. It's made of three connected cylinders on two levels, and has an Asian motif. The box has fewer than 25 prims, and I'm putting together some low-prim furniture (some built by my friend Alysa), so I can live comfortably under 150 prims.

I'm happy with my new home, and I have an awesome neighbor. Lisa is in shouting distance. I wonder if she cooks...?

Living, Loving, Leaving, and Lost in Thoughts

In the last week, I've had three people who I'm close to come to me and say, "I need to take a break from Second Life". Two of these friends said this at the same time.. one in IMs while I was already talking to another.

I don't know how to react. I'm numb.

On one hand, I understand these thoughts. I've entertained them myself, from time to time. I would never talk anyone out of the decision to leave. It is their decision to make, and theirs alone. On the other hand, I'm selfish. These are friends who I've bonded with, shared fun times with, shared some love with. Losing them would create a dark void in my Second Life. I don't come here to see places... I come to be with friends and share good times.

In real life, we're more apt to face our demons. In Second Life, it's easy to run away. You can hide from your problems rather than face them, by simply not logging in. Running away, however, merely shifts the burden to those who are left behind... leaving them wondering...

I've tried to find balance... moderation is the key. Living your First Life to its fullest is the number one priority. But Second Life, and the bonds that are forged there, should not be so easily dismissed. The connections are real, and they are unlike anything you find in real life. They exist on an entirely non-physical level... they are sometimes ephemeral, sometimes long-lasting. But they can seem as compelling and as raw as real life.

Sillyness @ Blacklist

You've heard of cats and furrballs? Apparently, dragons have the same problem. Who'd have guessed? In the top image, Hyang is the dragon, I am the furrball (and I had *such* high expectations for myself...). Jo and Sami look on, apparently not too sure what to make of the scene.

In the second image, an old acquaintance, missing for some time, comes to visit at the Blacklist. What better way to celebrate than with a pillow fight? Don't we look *so* innocent? That's me on the left, Hyang, and Allysia.